Changing the Conversation
Why is having a meaningful, life-changing conversation so challenging?
Ask parents of teenagers, spouses, teachers, managers, or discipleship leaders and you will hear a variety of answers to that question. Yet, all will agree that having “connect to the heart” conversations in our busy world is a challenge.
Howard Hendricks used to say “nothing is as easy as talking; nothing is as difficult as communicating.”
Why is it so hard? One of the primary factors is that we have a tendency to focus more on talking than connecting. According to Judith Glaser’s book Conversational Intelligence, there are three levels of conversation.
|Transactional||I Centered||Tell, Sell, Yell|
|Positional||I/We Centered||Advocating for what I desire and seeking to influence you to my point of view|
|Transformational||We Centered||Share and Discovery Interactions|
Think of one of your “challenging conversations” relationships. If you have been trapped in levels one and two and have not experienced the results you know would be best for the relationship, why not try a different approach?
Take time to connect. Begin the conversation in a way that feels safe and builds trust. When the communication feels bad, walls go up and the heart shuts down.
Seek to understand. Empathetic listening is liberating! Having an accurate understanding of what the other person is thinking, feeling, and desiring helps to move the conversation forward.
Create a team win. Involving the other person in the process of clarifying their desired outcome and a path that works well for everyone leads to more open, hope-filled conversations.
Can you visualize the potential impact of equipping parents, marriage partners, and ministry leaders in the skills of changing the conversation? Vision Ventures has developed a training program to assist participants with “challenging conversations.”
To schedule the two and a half hour Transformational Conversations seminar in your church, contact Vision Ventures.